sábado, 9 de noviembre de 2013

Re-markable


I can hardly remember a remarkable day; not beacause the lack of one  (who can ever say that!), but the number of experiences that remains remarkables in my mind is not just one (I'm having second thoughts right now, because it's a really tricky question). Possessing just a moment, a day, a second of joy would be terribly difficult to me. Maybe the best thing to do would be take some reminiscences and, from there, define a remarkable feeling. I'm gonna change the question "What your remarkable day is" to "What your remarkable feelings are" - if I may be allowed to.   

I understand, I feel a nameless, indescribable situation as a state that gives you the sense of uprooting, a sense that untie you, not of life, but of the "common" development of time, and turns the way of living in a light breeze.   

I think I live that situation when I take  long walks through the city; when I hear a melody that involves my imagination and gives me a place to dream, a second home, a warmer one; when I hear the voice that I love the most (the best music for my ears), or anything that gives me the keys of an infinity of new doors to open. And that mixture of feelings (these are just a few of a bunch of indescribable feelings), can give me the sense of outsider, of witness of the "hapennings".

For example: You're walking by the downtown, is the early autumn, the leaves are moist in the ground (making, the lifeless grey of the cobblestones mixed with the sprightly crimson of the leafs, a perfect picture), and you can smell the frosty and wet soil; the faces are pale because of the cold wind, people are buried in their coats as if they were keeping a big secret under their clothes; and you're just a walking shadow upstream, giving life to this picture without them knowing- they're just actors on this comedy- ; the sun becomes an orphan boat in the vast cloudy ocean, and its rays serves only for bathing the heads out of ideas.

At the backgrownd of your mind sounds the last melody that incubates its dance in it, and the gestures of the time are more gracefuls. The things comes alive at your wise now. 

lunes, 21 de octubre de 2013







"I love the weightless, gentle
and subtle worlds -
worlds like soap bubbles..." 

said Machado in his "Cantares"; and, like him, I believe strongly  that the journeys are not just to travel from place to palce, sightseeing ancient monuments and taking picture next to the statues . The first trip that I wold do, is  to change the glance that we give to the landscapes, the way we see every little thing, every little sense and not feeling that the happiness is just a passion constantly eluded.

And this is not a romantic manifiesto of the Nature or a phony love to the human heart. Not at all. It is just  an aproximation to the very feelings of ourselves, " your gut self/ your singing magical self/ and your beautiful self", that must be saved from the rags of mediocrity.

Once I reach that "state of grace", once I had possesed that "me" constantly hide from myself, I may become a kind of "Mr. tambourine man", traveling in a plastic, fantastic and unpredictible lands, conutries and seas. 

But, if you ask me, I would like to go to France.  

lunes, 14 de octubre de 2013

Which one?

As far as I've been living, I'm not even close to know which work would be the ideal (funny word indeed) one, for me. When I hear someone saying "I always wanted to be (any profession)" or "I'm studying the career that I always wanted to study", I think "man, how I envy this guy/girl; how can they be so sure, how can't they feel any insecutiry or anguish... I mean, do they? Sometimes I strongly believe that the only restlessness of some people is only a toothache . Not the mayority, obviously... just "the others".

But, you  can - have the nerve to-  ask  me "Hey, you're in the 3th year of Public Administration, you can't say that you don't know what to do..." Well, I can't see myself seated on a chair, carrying papers in an office, or being in front of  hundreds of forms in a desk. I don't want to see myself in a Kafkanian world. I think I have enough with my own wolrld (with it's own music, colors and landscapes)

I feel that now I have an entire world to choose, I have the  willpower of do and create things ,  the complete desire of freedom  (that word so hidden, wanted and raped too... so "ideal") , and beacause I don't want to answer a profession when you ask me "Who are you?" , I want to create a life with continuous changes.  ; but what do I have, maybe nothing, and because I've nothing, I can build myself an entire life. Maybe tomorrow I can answer that cuestion with "I'm a pianist" and the next morning " Now, I'm a poet", and the next week " I think I'm a fly".

"Invent yourself and then reinvent yourself, don't swim in the same slough"