Which one?

As far as I've been living, I'm not even close to know which work would be the ideal (funny word indeed) one, for me. When I hear someone saying "I always wanted to be (any profession)" or "I'm studying the career that I always wanted to study", I think "man, how I envy this guy/girl; how can they be so sure, how can't they feel any insecutiry or anguish... I mean, do they? Sometimes I strongly believe that the only restlessness of some people is only a toothache . Not the mayority, obviously... just "the others".

But, you  can - have the nerve to-  ask  me "Hey, you're in the 3th year of Public Administration, you can't say that you don't know what to do..." Well, I can't see myself seated on a chair, carrying papers in an office, or being in front of  hundreds of forms in a desk. I don't want to see myself in a Kafkanian world. I think I have enough with my own wolrld (with it's own music, colors and landscapes)

I feel that now I have an entire world to choose, I have the  willpower of do and create things ,  the complete desire of freedom  (that word so hidden, wanted and raped too... so "ideal") , and beacause I don't want to answer a profession when you ask me "Who are you?" , I want to create a life with continuous changes.  ; but what do I have, maybe nothing, and because I've nothing, I can build myself an entire life. Maybe tomorrow I can answer that cuestion with "I'm a pianist" and the next morning " Now, I'm a poet", and the next week " I think I'm a fly".

"Invent yourself and then reinvent yourself, don't swim in the same slough"